See your world -- good one

-----If we reduce the population of the Earth to a small town with 100
people and keep the proportions, it will look like this:

57 Asians
21 Europeans
14 Americans (northern and southern)
8 Africans

52 women
48 men

70 coloured-skins
30 caucasians

89 heterosexuals
11 homosexuals

6 people would own 59% of the whole world wealth and all of them will be
from the United States of America

80 would have bad living conditions

70 will be uneducated

50 will be underfed

1 would die

2 would be born

1 will have a computer

1 (only one) will have higher education

If you look at the world from this point of view, you will see how there
is a big need of solidarity, understanding, patience and education.

Also think about the following

If this morning you've woke up healthy, you are happier then 1 million
people that will not survive next week.

If you never suffered a war,

the loneliness of the jail cell, the agony of torture,

or hunger,

you are happier then 500 million people in the world.

If you can enter into a church (mosque) without fear of jail or death,
you are happier then 3 million people in the world.

If there is a food in your fridge,
you have shoes and clothes,
you have bed and a roof,
you are richer then 75% of the people in the world.

If you have bank account, money in your wallet and some coins in the
money-box,
you belong to the 8% of the people on the world, which are well-to-do.

If you read this you are three times more blessed because:
1. somebody just thought of you.
2. you don't belong to the 200 million people that cannot read.
3. and... you have a computer!

As somebody once said:
"- work as if you don't need money,
- love as if nobody never ever hurt you,
- dance, as if nobody can see you,
- sing, as if nobody can hear you,
- live, as if the Earth was a heaven."

Note: I may have missed to provide source of information, as this information is fetched from forward emails. So in case, if someone finds the information source, please let me know such that I can update the same.

History: can anyone explain this?: Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy

Have a history teacher explain this...if they can

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.


Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808. Lyndon
Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839. Lee
Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.


Now hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called 'Lincoln' made by 'Ford.'

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a
warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a
theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.


And here's the kicker...


A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe

Note: I may have missed to provide source of information, as this information is fetched from forward emails. So in case, if someone finds the information source, please let me know such that I can update the same.

Corporate Language

Following are some hilarious professional management fundas:

1."We will do it" means "You will do it"

2."You have done a great job" means "More work to be given to you"

3."We are working on it" means "We have not yet started working on the
same"

4."Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means "Its not getting done
"At least not tomorrow!"

5."After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views" means "I
have already decided, I will tell you what to do"

6."There was a slight miscommunication" means "We had actually lied"

7."Lets call a meeting and discuss" means "I have no time now, will
talk later"

8."We can always do it" means "We actually cannot do the same on time"

9."We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension
of the deadline" means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver
on time."

10."We had slight differences of opinion "means "We had actually
fought"

11."Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help
you" means "Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"

12."You should have told me earlier" means "Well even if you told me
earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"

13."We need to find out the real reason" means "Well I will tell you
where your fault is"

14."Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just
ensure that the work is not affected," means, "Well you know..."

15."We are a team," means, "I am not the only one to be blamed"

16."That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything
about it"

Excellent Conversation

|An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem
|science has with God, The Almighty.
|
|He asks one of his new students to stand and.....
|
|Prof: So you believe in God?
|
|Student: Absolutely, sir.
|
|Prof: Is God good?
|
|Student: Sure.
|
|Prof: Is God all-powerful?
|
|Student: Yes.
|
|Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal
|him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God
|didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?
|
|(Student is silent.)
|
|Prof: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is God
|good?
|
|Student: Yes.
|
|Prof: Is Satan good?
|
|Student: No.
|
|Prof: Where does Satan come from?
|
|Student: From...God...
|
|Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
|
|Student: Yes.
|
|Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything.
|Correct?
|
|Student: Yes.
|
|Prof: So who created evil?
|
|(Student does not answer.)
|
|Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these
|terrible things exist in the world, don't they?
|
|Student: Yes, sir.
|
|Prof: So, who created them?
|
|(Student has no answer.)
|
|Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe
|the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever
|
|seen God?
|
|Student: No, sir.
|
|Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
|
|Student: No, sir.
|
|Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your
|
|God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
|
|Student: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
|
|Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?
|
|Student: Yes.
|
|Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science
|says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
|
|Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.
|
|Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.
|
|Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
|
|Prof: Yes.
|
|Student: And is there such a thing as cold?
|
|Prof: Yes.
|
|Student: No sir. There isn't.
|
|(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)
|
|Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even
|
|more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat.
|But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below
|zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is
|no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the
|absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not
|the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
|
|(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)
|
|Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as
|darkness?
|
|
|Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?
|
|Student : You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of
|something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing
|light....But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's
|called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were you
|would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?
|
|Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?
|
|Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
|
|Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?
|
|Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue
|there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You
|are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can
|measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity
|and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either
|one.To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact
|that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not
|the opposite of life: just the absence of it.
|
|Now tell me, Professor.Do you teach your students that they evolved
|from a monkey?
|
|Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of
|course, I do.
|
|Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
|
|(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where
|the argument is going.)
|
|Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at
|work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor,
|are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a
|preacher? (The class is in uproar.)
|
|Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's
|brain?
|
|(The class breaks out into laughter.)
|
|Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain,
|felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So,
|according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable
|protocol, science says that you have no brain,sir.
|
|With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
|
|(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face
|unfathomable.)
|
|Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.
|
|Student: That is it sir... The link between man & god is FAITH. That is
|all that keeps things moving & alive.

16 famous quotes from Chanakya

1) "Learn from the mistakes of others... you can't live long enough to make them all yourselves!!"

2)"A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and Honest people are screwed first."

3)"Even if a snake is not poisonous, it should pretend to be venomous."

4)"The biggest guru-mantra is: Never share your secrets with anybody. It will destroy you."

5)"There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth."

6)" Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions - Why am I doing it, What the results might be and Will I be successful. Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead."

7)"As soon as the fear approaches near, attack and destroy it."

8)"The world's biggest power is the youth and beauty of a woman."

9)"Once you start a working on something, don't be afraid of failure and don't abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest."

10)"The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind. But the goodness of a person spreads in all direction."

11)"God is not present in idols. Your feelings are your god. The soul is your temple."

12) "A man is great by deeds, not by birth."

13) "Never make friends with people who are above or below you in status. Such friendships will never give you any happiness."

14) "Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. For the next five years, scold them. By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend. Your grown up children are your best friends."

15) "Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person."

16) "Education is the best friend. An educated person is respected everywhere. Education beats the beauty and the youth."


Note: I may have missed to provide source of information, as this information is fetched from forward emails. So in case, if someone finds the information source, please let me know such that I can update the same.

Why Some People Have All the Luck

*Why Some People Have All the Luck : By Professor Richard Wiseman, University of Hertfordshire*

*Why do some people get all the luck while others never get the breaks they deserve?**

A psychologist says he has discovered the answer..

Ten years ago, I set out to examine luck. I wanted to know why some people are always in the right place at the right time, while others consistently experience ill fortune. I placed advertisements in national newspapers asking for people who felt consistently lucky or unlucky to contact me.

Hundreds of extraordinary men and women volunteered for my research and over the years, I have interviewed them, monitored their lives and had them take part in experiments.

The results reveal that although these people have almost no insight into the causes of their luck, their thoughts and behavior are responsible for much of their good and bad fortune. Take the case of seemingly chance opportunities. Lucky people consistently encounter such opportunities, whereas unlucky people do not.

I carried out a simple experiment to discover whether this was due to differences in their ability to spot such opportunities. I gave both lucky and unlucky people a newspaper, and asked them to look through it and tell me how many photographs were inside. I had secretly placed a large message halfway through the newspaper saying: 'Tell the experimenter you have seen this and win $50.'

This message took up half of the page and was written in type that was more than two inches high. It was staring everyone straight in the face, but the unlucky people tended to miss it and the lucky people tended to spot it.

Unlucky people are generally more tense than lucky people, and this anxiety disrupts their ability to notice the unexpected..As a result, they miss opportunities because they are too focused on looking for something else. They go to parties' intent on finding their perfect partner and so miss opportunities to make good friends. They look through newspapers determined to find certain types of job advertisements and miss other types of jobs.
Lucky people are more relaxed and open, and therefore see what is there rather than just what they are looking for.
My research eventually revealed that lucky people generate good fortune via four principles. They are skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities, make lucky decisions by listening to their intuition, create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations, and adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good.

Towards the end of the work, I wondered whether these principles could be used to create good luck. I asked a group of volunteers to spend a month carrying out exercises designed to help them think and behave like a lucky person.
Dramatic results! These exercises helped them spot chance opportunities, listen to their intuition, expect to be lucky, and be more resilient to bad luck. One month later, the volunteers returned and described what had happened. The results were dramatic: 80% of people were now happier, more satisfied with their lives and, perhaps most important of all, luckier. *

*The lucky people had become even luckier and the unlucky had become lucky.**

Finally, I had found the elusive 'luck factor'. *

*Here are Professor Wiseman's four top tips for becoming lucky:

1. Listen to your gut instincts - they are normally right
2. Be open to new experiences and breaking your normal routine
3. Spend a few moments each day remembering things that went well
4. Visualize yourself being lucky before an important meeting or telephone call.

Have a Lucky day and work for it. *

Note: I may have missed to provide source of information, as this information is fetched from forward emails. So in case, if someone finds the information source, please let me know such that I can update the same.

The Best of E-Mail Auto-Replies...Last one is brilliant

The Best of "Dilbert Out-Of-Office" E-Mail Auto-Reply:

1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

2: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management.

4: I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

7: Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queueing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8: Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

9: Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother to leave me any messages.

10: I've run away to join a different circus.

AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE -------------------------------------------------

11: I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Jennifer' instead of 'Steve'.


Note: I may have missed to provide source of information, as this information is fetched from forward emails. So in case, if someone finds the information source, please let me know such that I can update the same.